Starting point

I’ll be honest, this wasn’t easy. And not in the way you might expect. The process itself takes research, patience, and a lot of learning, and I know I’ll be doing plenty of that as I go. But that wasn’t the hard part.

The hard part was actually doing it.

I have numerous ideas and thoughts. And more often than I’d like to admit, they never quite make it to the doing stage. The book I’ve been writing since 2023 is a perfect example. Draft one is still unfinished. The story keeps changing, chapters get rewritten, and I find myself circling the same ground again and again. It’s not that I don’t care; if anything, it’s frustrating wanting to move forward but feeling unable to. Funnily enough, whilst I always had my suspicions, I got some clarity on this when I started a new job. About a week in, I’d already decided I was a failure, going as far as losing sleep over it. Which I think tells you a lot about how I think about things. I realised I might be afraid of failure, and sometimes it’s easier not to try than to try and then fail.

So how does one overcome this? I’m honestly not sure, but I dare say this is probably a good first step.

From what I have been told by people far braver than I is that confidence builds quietly, step by step, as we show up for ourselves day after day. It grows when we choose to try, trusting that we can figure it out along the way. So here I am trying to figure it out and start with what I have and where I am. To be willing to try and willing to learn and then build from there.

The road may not always be smooth, but growth rarely is.